Blog Fever!

Sorry, Loyal Fans and Readers. I was sick. I had it real bad. A real bad case of Blog Fever! I couldn't stop thinking about Blogs. It was like every time I tried to blog I would get so excited that a fever would set in and I couldn't even blog. So I just relaxed and controlled the flow of blog thoughts to the mind until I could sit still long enough to just a blog a little bit before I went crazy.

So, since we had our last intimate conversation, Centro Medico Humberto Parra has had a whole bunch of volunteers and patients. All of the old med students and residents have left and been replaced by two female residents, a female med student, a male med student named my brother Ethan, a female nurse, and a couple of love birds who just flew in to help with "green" energy for the clinic and cervical cancer screening. Also, my mom is here, right now, starring over my shoulder and chuckling about the word "blog". I told her, "That's not funny, mom! Blogs are serious business!" But she'll never understand. Also three doctors were here. (In reverse alphabetical order) One's name was Steve, another was John, and another was Amish. Amish surfs, John plays guitar (like a real pro!), and Steve gets overly excited and spouts facts about trees uncontrollably. Here's something he said once: "Man, if you brought a pair of binoculars out here to the clinic, you could have a field day! Holy cow!" A typical conversation with Steve went:

Schlomo: Hey, Steve.
Steve: Holy cow! I can't believe it's you! I haven't seen you in like 5 minutes!
Schlomo: I've got bad news, Steve.
Steve: Great! I love news!
Schlomo: Brad Pitt died today.
Steve: What?! I can't believe it! That's terrible!
Schlomo: Hey, Steve, check out that ant hill!
Steve: Holy cow! What the hell do you thinks inside that thing? I'd love to get a hold of a hammer so I could see inside there!

So he was fun. Me and Gretchen, the nurse, translated for him and John because they're Spanish was not great. Then we had a party for my mom. It was an aloha party. John sang a song, Derek sang a song, I sang a song, and Dr. Suarez a Bolivian doctor from the Hopsital Japones sang "I can't take my eyes off of you" in Spanish. It was beautiful. I wept like a willow and lept like a frog! Or should I say, I weeped like a weelow and leaped like a frog.

I went to Samipata, the ancient city where different indigenous groups thrived (such as the Incans, the Spanish, and the Nazis). We stayed at La Vispera, a quaint little Dutch hotel/cabin place and I asked them if they would hire me, they didn't say no.

A man had a tracheotomy and can breathe a lot better. My brother helped him replace his trachea ring. He is very sweet and wrote me a little note (when he couldn't talk) that said thanks and that he can breathe tranquilly. A man came in with carcinoma and, although we cannot save his life, we are going to give him radio therapy and control his diabetes so that he might be able to live more comfortably. We are also working on getting a woman double header surgery, which will involve the removal of a polyp on her uterus and a reparation of her hernia. Man, I tell you, I haven't seen so many hernias in my life. One time I saw a fat man in a polo, but that's not quite the same thing. I also saw Rush Hour 3. Don't stop making 'em, boys!

I should also note that I got four strikes in a row in bowling, raising my score from 22 to something like 102. I was kind of "out of it" so it was a big surprise to everyone playing. I think we still lost. Also, Derek, the "green" energy guy, said this funny thing. I was putting my pants on one morning and he says to me, "Wait. You put your pants on one leg at a time?" It was the funniest thing I'd ever heard.

mike